Love Shouldn’t Hurt

If you’ve read my debut novel, Success Is The Best Revenge, you may have caught on the story, based on true events, is my story. It took four painful years to write. For some who are like me, it is easier to keep things like this buried deep inside and to create a life around the pain rather than face it head on.

So why, at age 70, did I dig up my skeletons and lay them all out, bone by bone, for anyone and everyone to read about? What did I have to prove? Did I want to tarnish the reputations of those responsible for my abuse? Did I want to alienate my family and friends who would not believe my story?

I was tired. Tired of hiding my pain. Tired of living a life that was fake. Scared to death someone would find out my secrets. The pain that no one would believe me was unbearable.

I’m not the only woman who was abused as a child and as an adult. Current Statistics from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) show that:

• On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.

• 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder, use of victim services, contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, etc.

Child Sexual Abuse Statistics (Center for Disease Control)

• 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 13 boys experience sexual abuse in childhood

• Females exposed to child sexual abuse are at 2-13 times increased risk of sexual victimization in adulthood

• Individuals who experienced child sexual abuse are at twice the risk for non-sexual intimate partner violence

So, you see? It isn’t just me. The person suffering could very well be sitting next to you at the cubicle behind you or walking in front you as you stroll through town.

            My story is not special, or unique; there is a whole world of people that were and are dealing with the impacts of child sexual abuse and domestic violence — perhaps STILL dealing with the horror. My strongest wish and hope is someone, like me, will read my book and understand HOPE can be in their future. Having hope took me until I was 70, and a lifetime of internal pain, to realize I was worth having hope.

Resources

• National Domestic Violence Hotline –

  • Phone: 1.800.787.7233. – Text: Text START to 88788

  • Plan for Safety

• What is Domestic Abuse?

• What is Child Abuse?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please respond in the comment section below.